It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
