You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
