I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
