I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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