So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
