If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
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