I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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