You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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