So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
