This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
