Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
