Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize