Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
