I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
