oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
