i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
