why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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