You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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