How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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