Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
