I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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