chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
