I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
