I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize