At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My vagina is very pro this idea
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
