what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
