So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
