I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize