eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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