i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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