yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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