so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
