worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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