Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
