I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
