I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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