So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
where does the pee come out of this thing
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
