We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
