i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
