I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
barbara walters just said penis...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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