If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
