We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize