so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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