No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
