He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
