good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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