I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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