did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
