New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
