You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
oh god the rape fog is back!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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