do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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