Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
