I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
