I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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