his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Randomize
