She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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