Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
